


I Want You to Stay

by VanishedElf



Category: taekook - Fandom, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Drag Shows, Fingering, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Influencer Taehyung, M/M, Non-Binary Jung Hoseok, Non-Binary Park Jimin, Oral Sex, Queer Culture, Roommates, Sex Toys, Slight mention of past transphobia, Some pining, Testosterone Injections, Trans Jeon Jungkook, Trans Kim Taehyung | V, drinking and partying, gender bending, jock jungkook, thigh riding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:41:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28257864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanishedElf/pseuds/VanishedElf
Summary: Jungkook learns a lot rooming with Taehyung in his freshman year.ORA Taekook story where jock Jungkook crushes hard on influencer Taehyung, and they work it out.
Relationships: Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V
Comments: 32
Kudos: 126
Collections: bts trans fest





	I Want You to Stay

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [btstransfest](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/btstransfest) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> androgynous tae because i love that concept a lot and whatever you wanna do with it i just want him wearing heels and skirts and make up and just being really confident and gorgeous!!!! and maybe then he meets jeongguk and he is instantly enamored with taehyung he cant stop looking at him and admiring him and his confidence and just being a lot whipped 
> 
> dnw: mcd, hard kinks, abo, sad ending

The tricky thing about testosterone was that it was so bloody thick.

Jungkook flicked the syringe. Bubbles floated to the top in slow-motion. Something crashed onto the floor in another room, followed by muffled swearing. Jungkook pressed down on the plunger until a blob of amber liquid bloomed at the tip. More muted jostling emanated from down the hall. He stretched a section of skin between his thumb and forefinger and positioned the needle against one of his glutes.

The needle entered his skin the moment Taehyung walked into the room.

"So I need some opinions on this fit," Taehyung launched in, conversationally, as if he hadn't been loudly swearing and slamming around his room for the past thirty minutes. "Do you think the shawl goes with the heels, or should I switch it out for that poncho from the clothing trade last week?"

"Sorry," Jungkook grunted. "Just a sec."

"Oh it's T time." Taehyung shuffled up behind the ottoman Jungkook was sitting on. "Looking good, Gukkie."

"What? My needle technique?"

"Your muscular goodness."

Jungkook always hit the gym the morning before his injections. The testosterone made his leg sore for a couple days, and he didn't like going longer than that without working out. Today had been arm day. In typical Jungkook fashion, he'd ripped his t-shirt off the second he got back to the dorms, and then, halfway through mixing himself a protein shake, remembered his injection. He'd taken his sweatpants off at some point and now here he was, sitting in the living room in nothing but his underwear—a pair of plain blue briefs from a Walmart value pack, to be exact.

"I've been on testosterone two years. I'm no more muscular than last week." 

"I stand by my words."

Jungkook snorted, depressing the plunger slowly. Without warning, something wet slid over his shoulder blade. Jungkook jumped, losing hold on his skin. The muscle sprang back into position and the needle shifted. He hissed.

"Oh no. Did I hurt you?"

"What _was_ that?"

"Uh." Taehyung paused. "I licked you."

" _Why_?"

"Well I mean." Taehyung took a deep breath. "Do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Both." Jungkook grimaced. "Start with the long version. I want something to distract me from the pain."

"I started thinking about how the texture of your skin changes when you're on testosterone. I remember how mine felt thicker, a little oilier, back when I was taking it. And then I remembered how you just got back from the gym. I realized that you were probably still a little sweaty, and started wondering if your sweat tasted different from mine too—"

Jungkook was too busy injecting the rest of his hormones to form much of a reaction. Acting incredulous or shocked would've probably been futile anyway.

"And?"

"It was pretty salty." Taehyung smacked his lips. "I kind of forget what my own sweat tastes like. I'll have to get back to you on that."

Jungkook pulled the needle out. "What was the short version?" 

"I licked you because I wanted to."

Taehyung stepped into Jungkook's line of sight before Jungkook could respond. Jungkook almost dropped the needle disposal box on the floor.

Taehyung looked like a faerie. Not an art student dressed in boho-chique thrift. Not a ballet dancer performing Les Sylphides. Not a human dressed up in a faerie costume of any kind, but a genuine magical being trespassing into the human realm from a faraway land.

He was wearing a gauzy white shawl and a waist-high skirt that flowed all the way to the floor. The skirt was also white, with a lace-up back. He'd tied the drawstring messily, and it hung down in a lopsided bow. The only way Jungkook knew he was wearing heels was that he was several inches taller than usual.

"I..." Jungkook cleared his throat. "I see."

"Is your leg alright?"

"It's fine."

"Don't be so cavalier." Taehyung dropped to his knees in front of Jungkook, a whirl of glittering rings and silk. He rested a hand on Jungkook's knee. He'd painted his nails black. "You know as good as I do that the forms of acceptable masculinity in this world are manifold. Men are allowed to feel pain. Men are allowed to cry. Men _should_ cry!"

"It didn't hurt _that_ much."

"I'm going to kiss it better," Taehyung decided. " I won't be able to rest easy until I do."

"Really, it's oka—" 

Taehyung's warm lips on Jungkook's skin.

If it had just been that, Jungkook might've been able to finish his sentence, but the problem was, Taehyung wasn't wearing a binder today, and his chest was bare underneath his shawl. His skin brushed against Jungkook's knee as he leaned closer.

"You don't have to," Jungkook said, strained.

Taehyung hummed, shaking his head slightly. As he did, his lips grazed over Jungkook's skin, back and forth. He did it again, slower this time. Lips dragging slowly... first one way, and then the other.

Of course Taehyung wasn't going to make it a quick peck. Of course he was going to draw it out, transforming it into something sensual and real, because that's what he liked to do—turn everything he encountered into a magnified version of itself. 

Jungkook figured his first year of university could've been a lot duller without Taehyung dragging him out to queer parties, challenging him to rock-paper-scissors championships underneath the stalls in the men's bathroom to brighten the mood, getting drunk and crawling into Jungkook's bed, clutching him like a giant teddy bear until the early morning hours and then disappearing to Jimin's dorm and being weird and distant for a week. 

Yeah, being Taehyung's roommate was great. It was also stressful as hell.

Taehyung hadn't been drunk in a while. It was midterm season and the two of them had spent most of the past two weeks holed up in the living room studying. Jungkook had his last exam tomorrow. Taehyung had finished his today and he was going out with friends to celebrate—hence, the heels, the lipstick. Jungkook could feel Taehyung's frisky, friendly energy burgeoning like a storm. It made him nervous.

The past two weeks had been a little dull. There had been a lot of trips to Subway, a few faded chats in the kitchen about their classes. It wasn't much of a surprise. Life without Taehyung crawling into Jungkook's bed was bound to be more dull, but Jungkook would rather have dull days with Taehyung than no Taehyung at all.

Dull was almost enough for Jungkook.

Nothing was ever enough for Taehyung.

Taehyung settled on a spot a couple inches to the left of Jungkook's injection site. His drifting, grazing lips resolved into something more pliable... wetter.

Taehyung's mouth was warm. Taehyung's chest was warm. The hand holding Jungkook's leg in place was warm. Taehyung was always so warm, maybe because he was always moving around.

Taehyung's earrings were long enough to tickle Jungkook's skin. Jungkook barely noticed. He was too busy blushing, hoping Taehyung hadn't noticed the _noise_ Jungkook had made when Taehyung's lips made contact. Jungkook hoped Taehyung would just chalk it up to surprise, or maybe lingering discomfort from the needle bruising his muscle when he jumped.

Taehyung pulled away slowly, staring at Jungkook's thigh like it was a lover he'd just reunited with after being separated for years by circumstances outside their control. Jungkook watched him with bated breath. Taehyung licked his lips, and then rested his cheek on Jungkook's knee, staring up at Jungkook's face. The red kiss mark demanded attention, like a dead bird Taehyung had dragged in from the backyard and presented to Jungkook as a gift.

"Better?"

"Better," Jungkook grunted. His ears felt hot.

Taehyung's eyes were like delphinium blooms, pupils lush and dark as a tight cluster of stamens, ringed around by dense lashes painted with electric blue mascara.

Jungkook wanted to run his fingers through Taehyung's hair like he had three weeks ago before their last awkward spell, underneath Jungkook's covers, Taehyung's boozy breath sliding over Jungkook's neck like waves on a secret shoreline. He wanted to brush the black tangles off Taehyung's forehead so he could see even more of his face, but he wanted things to be normal between them more, so he kept his hands where they were, gripping the needle disposal bin for dear life.

"Have fun tonight," he said mindlessly.

"You too." Taehyung winked. "Don't stay up for me."

***

There was a section on the applications for student residence that addressed roommate preferences.

Jungkook had initially planned on leaving it blank. All of his friends from his home town were cisgender. Jungkook had transitioned early-on, switching to he/him pronouns when he was thirteen, starting testosterone when he was sixteen, and lucking out on top surgery just before his eighteenth birthday. Nobody seemed overly surprised when he came out. To them, it made sense. He'd always sported short hair, mens' clothes. According to stereotypical definitions of masculinity, Jungkook had always been more boy than girl.

His mother was a maid. His father was a cook at a dinky Asian fusion restaurant in town. They didn't have enough money to pay for his hormone therapy, but they congratulated him when he used his earnings from the ice cream shop to pay for it himself. Neither of them spoke strong enough English to understand what was on the forms, but they signed them anyway, and on the morning of his surgery his mother drove him to and from the hospital in one of the company vans.

To his parents and friends back home, the story was simple: Jungkook was a boy who had been born in the wrong body, and he was taking measures to fix the problem.

Jungkook didn't know if he needed to check the box on the application marked _please house with someone LGBTQ+,_ because he didn't really know if that term applied to him. One of his mother's customer's was a lesbian. There was a gay pastor at the church down from the ice cream shop. That was about it, as far as queer people Jungkook knew, and seeing as he had only spoken to them a couple times in passing, it was dubious if he really knew them so much as knew _of_ them.

The thought of rooming with someone queer was almost just as intimidating as rooming with someone cisgender. Apart from what was in Jungkook's pants, he really didn't feel that special. His hair wasn't a cool colour. It was short, black, and very generic. T-shirts, sweatpants, and hoodies were his garments of choice. His only articles of ostentation were his contact lenses, which he mainly used when he was playing sports.

He spent at least thirty minutes staring at the screen before he made up his mind.

Yes, the thought of a cisgender roommate discovering his needles and reporting him to campus security for drug use was not great. Injecting secretly in his room and remembering to leave the toilet seat up after he peed also sounded less than amazing. Coming out to avoid the hassle was an alternative option, but while university campuses tended towards more liberal mindsets, there was no absolute guarantee that his roommate wouldn't get weird about it.

He ended up ticking the box.

It was a wild card, the same way he'd decided to put psychology down as his major of choice instead of kinesiology. The jock narrative made sense in Jungkook's life the same way the 'boy trapped in the wrong body' narrative did. It would've been so easy to take the simple path, but Jungkook decided he was starting to get a little bored of things that were perfectly straightforward.

A week before classes started, he'd walked from the bus depot onto campus with a backpack slung over each shoulder and a suitcase dragging behind him. He'd studied maps of the city. He knew where the cheapest grocery stores were. He knew the routes he was going to take between his classes. He'd used an online tool to practise different kinds of pronouns like they/them and ze/zir in case his roommate turned out to be non-binary. He'd read about why there was a plus sign at the end of the acronym. He tromped up two sets of stairs to his dorm room and knocked on the door, confident he was prepared for anything.

_A black halter top, knit slacks, and bright red lipstick_

_A whirl of black hair in a ponytail_

_The scent of lavender and coffee, a honey rich voice, asking Jungkook_ _—_

"What are your pronouns?"

Jungkook couldn't have been more wrong.

"He/him," he had stated robotically. It was a good thing he'd used the practice tool, because his brain was only operating at half capacity. "Yours?"

"He/him," Taehyung had replied, grabbing one of the backpacks off Jungkook's shoulder and strutting into the shared living room. His hips moved like he was hunting something. "Holy shit, this is heavy. What do you have in here, a bunch of dumbbells?"

"Just textbooks."

"You went book shopping already? Maybe you can do mine too."

Jungkook made a vaguely affirmative noise.

Taehyung abandoned the backpack next to the sofa and grabbed Jungkook's hand instead. "Come see your room. It's quite nice. Full view of the quadrangle and everything."

Jungkook let himself get dragged along. In some ways he'd never stopped. He'd gotten past the nodding and grunting phase at this point, thank god, but no amount of casual conversation or side-by-side study sessions could erase the feeling that Taehyung was leading him somewhere, on beautiful and harrowing journey, dependent upon Taehyung's fleeting fancies and capricious whims.

***

Taehyung left around seven o'clock to meet his friends from the philosophy club. Jungkook studied until eleven, took a quick shower, and crawled into bed, opening Instagram. Taehyung's latest post—a mirror selfie with the silk shawl and skirt—had already been liked by three thousand people.

Jungkook fell asleep with his phone in his hand. Taehyung crawled into bed with him three hours later. The smell of tequila and toothpaste crept into Jungkook's nose. He rolled onto his back. Taehyung draped a leg over Jungkook's body and huddled in close.

In that moment, Jungkook's world felt dangerously perfect.

The next day, when Jungkook's alarm went off for his exam, he crawled out of bed and left Taehyung in a sleepy heap. Jungkook got back two hours later and Taehyung was gone.

He didn't come home that night. He didn't respond to Jungkook's texts. That weekend, he uploaded a rant video to his Youtube channel, so Jungkook knew he was alive. Jungkook spent Sunday at the basketball courts with Namjoon, Yoongi, and Seokjin. The next morning, Taehyung strode through the door sipping a latte. He plopped down on the floor and launched into a conversation about unisex clothing brands as if it was any other Monday, and Jungkook swore he was going to find a way to stop caring.

***

Most days, Jungkook knew better. 

Taehyung was studying philosophy with a minor in women's studies. He volunteered at the queer centre on campus. He worked in a little cafe under the art building and made extra money on the side from his social media accounts.

Jungkook wouldn't have had to look twice at Taehyung to know he was a bit of a queer maverick, but what he didn't realize at first was that Taehyung was an actual influencer, with enough followers to make around two- to three-hundred dollars a post. His content was unapologetically leftist. He dove into all the most contentious topics of the day, picking them apart with his trenchant brain and bringing sense to conversations Jungkook had ignored for years because they made him feel empty and invisible.

_"You're helping a lot of people. It's really admirable."_

_"Not admirable so much as necessary, darling,_ " Taehyung had replied, painting his nails at the kitchen table. _"Someone needs to clear up all that bullshit; and to bring in a much more pragmatic angle, someone needs to pay my bills, and it certainly isn't going to be my rich asshole parents."_

Apart from bitching them out in passing, Taehyung didn't talk much about his family. Jungkook gathered that they'd cut ties with him when he came out. That was why Taehyung worked part-time. He was paying for everything himself. So was Jungkook, but at least Jungkook could see why—his parents loved him, but they simply didn't have the means. Taehyung's parents were as wealthy as they were unyielding. 

Jungkook didn't know how Taehyung managed to score perfect grades, work at the cafe, manage his Instagram and Youtube accounts, and still have enough energy left over to blow up the world on a moment by moment basis the way he did. Jungkook funnelled his restless energy into calm, focused things like working out at the gym or jogging. Taehyung channelled his into giving Jungkook makeovers, baking rainbow cupcakes for everyone on their floor, getting drunk by the train tracks with Jimin and Hoseok and taking aesthetic photos in parkades.

" _See? Pretty, right?"_ Taehyung daubed stain onto Jungkook's lips. " _God, you have a nice mouth._ "

Jungkook had gazed at his reflection. His hair was tied back from his face in a French braid. His lips were pink and his eyes were smoky. With Taehyung's help, he saw it. He was pretty. A pretty boy, although no one could be as pretty as Taehyung.

Taehyung had been on testosterone twice, on and off, first injections and then the gel, before finally deciding it wasn't for him. He'd explained to Jungkook, as well as his fifty thousand followers, why this didn't make him any less of a man—the same way wearing heels and lipstick didn't either.

Taehyung had taught Jungkook about the differences between gender identity and gender expression. He'd shown Jungkook that the binary story he'd been told his whole life could be blurred beyond recognition into something fluid and beautiful and freeing. He was a saviour to a lot of queer people, including Jungkook, and Jungkook had to wonder what he could possibly offer in return.

Most days, Jungkook knew better, but then there were those moments when a different kind of feeling crept up on him.

"Gukkie," Taehyung screeched, tearing through the front door and straight into Jungkook's arms.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"I got my date for top surgery!"

"Holy shit dude." Jungkook's face broke into a grin. "That's amazing."

"It's in February."

Jungkook pulled away. He assumed Taehyung would need to go live on his Instagram or post something to tell everyone the news, but instead, Taehyung bounced straight back into his arms.

"Do you need to make a post or a video about it?"

"Nuh-uh. I want to celebrate with you tonight." Taehyung's arms were tight around Jungkook's waist and Jungkook was jumping up and down too, mainly so Taehyung's chin didn't keep smashing into his shoulder. "I can tell them tomorrow."

They made a pizza—cauliflower crust and vegan cheese, on Taehyung's request—and lounged on the couch, listening to David Bowie and chatting. Taehyung explained to Jungkook why he was a little torn about how he was going to present the issue to his followers. It was important for trans stories to be told, but for some people, hearing about someone else's top surgery date was as painful as it was inspiring.

"The FOMO can be real," Taehyung said, cheeks bulging with seaweed chips. "I need to be tactful."

"I can see that," Jungkook said. After a pause, he added, "I'm sorry for walking around shirtless so much. Has that bothered you?"

"Uh, not really." Taehyung's eyes flickered to Jungkook's torso. "Really not really. Please continue doing it whenever you want."

There it was again... the feeling like things were slipping from their usual banter to something else. Something that made Jungkook's body burn with longing, that made his hands shaky and his breath catch in his throat. 

"Besides, it isn't like I never walk around shirtless too."

"Showing off your man-tiddies," Jungkook said shyly, borrowing from the lexicon of terms Taehyung used to describe his own body.

"Exactly." Taehyung ran his hand over his own chest, cramming another handful of chips into his mouth at the same time. He was drowning in a massive sweatshirt with a monochrome floral print. His binder was on the coffee table. He'd unclipped it and tossed it there halfway through the meal. "Boys can have breasts too. It's fine. I'm lucky these things don't bug me as much as some people. They're small but they're still an inconvenience and I'm glad they're going to be gone."

"I'm happy for you," Jungkook said, equally as shyly as before.

And then Taehyung rested his head on Jungkook's shoulder and played with his hand. Jungkook told him about his favourite shows and books. They weren't talking about queer politics or Taehyung's surgery date anymore, but Taehyung still wanted to spend time with Jungkook, cuddled up against him like this, and it was moments like this when Jungkook really didn't know anymore.

Trails of heat crept up his wrists whenever Taehyung's fingers brushed over his skin. He was pretty sure he twitched a few times, but Taehyung didn't say anything.

"Who've you slept with?"

"A few people," Jungkook said. "You?"

"A decent lot." Taehyung pursed his lips in thought. "Jimin and I hooked up last summer. I smashed Hoseok after graduation, but I think those two are thinging now so that's probably over. I don't think either of them are very poly at heart."

Jimin and Hoseok were Taehyung's friends from highshool. Both of them were non-binary, ridiculously talented dancers, and sexy as fuck.

"There was this one girl in highschool who wanted me to be her sugar daddy. She knew my family was rich, but I don't think she realized I was on such bad terms with them."

"Had you come out at that point?" Jungkook asked.

"Yeah, but my parents didn't kick me out until I started testosterone." Taehyung's face went blank for a second, and then his boxy grin was back. "She really was barking up the wrong tree. Fuck, I'm the one who needs a sugar daddy."

Jungkook's heart sank.

He planned to help people with his psychology degree, hopefully get involved in queer counselling of some kind, but it was a long road until he'd be making enough bank to pay off his loans, let alone dote upon someone as flashy as Taehyung. A second wave of self-loathing washed over him as he asked himself why he was even considering such a thing.

Jungkook was lucky enough to be Taehyung's friend.

Jungkook forced out a laugh and tried to ignore the way Taehyung was playing around with the drawstring on Jungkook's sweatpants. Taehyung flirted with everyone. Flirting was Taehyung's baseline existence. Taehyung had sex with strangers, coworkers, his friends. The things that loomed in Jungkook's mind like dragons were, to Taehyung, an amusing way to pass a Saturday afternoon. One look at Taehyung's sparkling eyes and the dragons went tame, joining the ranks of his other admirers, offering him rides on their backs and spitting flames at his enemies.

***

Jungkook stopped by Taehyung's cafe later that week.

It was a chilly November morning. Jungkook shivered, huddling into his scarf as another customer opened the door, letting in a wash of cold air. A person with a silver mullet was working the cash. Taehyung was nowhere to be seen.

Jungkook was tempted to leave, but he checked himself mentally—he was here primarily for the coffee, after all.

"What can I get you?"

"A dark roast, black," Jungkook said, opening his wallet.

"To go or to stay?"

"To g—"

"To stay," a deep voice said over Jungkook's shoulder.

Jungkook turned around.

His face went slack.

Taehyung was clacking his way towards the counter in a pair of knee-high boots. He was wearing black leggings. His turtleneck dress clung tightly to his rakish figure. Jungkook sometimes forgot how scrawny he was, with all the oversized clothing he wore; and then Taehyung crawled on top of him or sat in his lap and Jungkook promptly remembered, as he was pierced by one of Taehyung's razor-sharp hips, crushed under his bony ass, or jabbed by one of his elbows. 

The cashier cleared their throat.

"Oh yeah." Jungkook glanced between the cashier and Taehyung cagily, blinking a few times, and then handed over his credit card.

"This is the infamous Jungkookie." Taehyung draped his arms over Jungkook's shoulders. "Jungkook, meet Felix. They just started here last week."

"Jungkookie as in the Jungkook you never shut up about?" Felix asked.

Jungkook realized he was leaning into Taehyung's body. He hoped Taehyung didn't mind. Taehyung smirked, and then kissed Jungkook's cheek, so he figured it was probably okay.

"Shush." Taehyung was always so coy, it was impossible to tell if he was legitimately embarrassed about something. "You're giving away all my secrets."

"You two don't seem very secret to me," Felix remarked. 

"The mouth on this one," Taehyung said, shaking his head. "I don't know what they were thinking when they hired them. The drama around here is going to explode."

"From my experience," Felix said, passing a cup of coffee to Jungkook, "talking about things openly is actually a good way to avoid drama."

"It's a shame you just missed my break." Taehyung pulled away. "You'll stick around anyway, won't you? I like seeing you in my spaces."

Jungkook nodded.

He sat in a squashy chair next to the milk and cream station. Taehyung slipped an apron over his head just in time for the next rush. Jungkook read about the foundations of cognitive science and early research in the field of behavioural psychology and snuck glances at Taehyung as he pounded out drink after drink from behind the espresso machine like a mad scientist, all the while bantering good-naturedly with Felix over his shoulder.

He was glad he stopped by, even if it took him twice as long to finish his readings. 

***

Jungkook watched the ball sail in a perfect arc and swoop through the hoop.

"Sick, bro," Yoongi said.

"Try it from back here," Namjoon said.

Jungkook took five steps back. Seokjin tossed him the ball. He lined up, eyes fixed on the hoop, and did it again.

"Holy shit," Yoongi laughed.

Another group arrived. The four of them handed over the court and walked over to the benches where all their stuff was piled. Jungkook wriggled into his puffer coat. The second he'd stopped moving his sweat had started to congeal into something icy. The sunlight cut through the leafless trees, casting crooked shadows over the concrete.

"Who wants to hit up Booster Juice?" Namjoon asked.

"Me," Seokjin said.

"I'll come along but I'm getting something else," Yoongi said. "My bowels still haven't recovered from last time."

The three of them looked at Jungkook.

"Can't," Jungkook said, scooping his backpack up off the ground.

"It's a ritual, bro," Seokjin said, sounding injured.

Seokjin, Namjoon, and Yoongi were all from Jungkook's home town. They'd attended the same highschool. They'd applied to the same university. They'd all been playing basketball together for almost four years, with a small gap when the three of them graduated a year ahead of Jungkook. Jungkook had texted the group chat the second he received his acceptance letter. They were quite pleased. Basketball would once again assume its full form.

"What are you ditching us for?" Namjoon asked.

"I'm meeting Taehyung for samosas."

"Tell him to come to Booster Juice instead," Seokjin said.

"We've been hyping the samosas all week," Jungkook said apologetically.

"I'd bitch you out but... I kind of get it." Seokjin sighed. "Samosas are the best."

"My bowels still haven't recovered from the last samosa sale either," Yoongi muttered. "I ate seven or eight of them, and I asked for extra sauce."

"I'm going to try to eat at least ten today," Jungkook said.

Someone whooped from across the park.

"Oh look, it's Taehyung," Namjoon said.

Taehyung, in a black v-neck, slacks, suspenders, and oxfords. It would've been a rather normal outfit by Taehyung standards, maybe even something a classy professor would wear, if he weren't also drowning in a jaguar-print pimp coat.

He tipped his sunglasses down when he got closer and examined them all from under his lashes.

"Boys," he said.

"Hi," Namjoon said.

The three of them had always been chill with Jungkook's gender. Like Jungkook, they'd honed their knowledge when they landed on campus, learning about different types of pronouns, gender expressions, and identities. Jungkook knew they were completely accepting of trans people, so he could only conclude that their awkwardness had to do more with Taehyung's general _aura_ than who he was on paper _._ It wasn't like Jungkook didn't get it. He just had more practice.

"Have fun," Seokjin said.

Taehyung blew them a kiss over his shoulder.

The two of them wandered through the engineering building. The smell of grease, vegetables, and meat pervaded the air. Taehyung grabbed Jungkook's arm and jammed them into the lineup. They inched forward bit by bit, standing a bit too close, giggling about how hungry they were, how warm it was inside, and other mundane things that weren't actually that funny. Jungkook hardly noticed the time passing. Suddenly they were at the table.

"We'll take twenty," Taehyung said, setting a ten dollar bill on the table. 

"Those are fighting words," Jungkook said.

The student loaded vegetable samosas into bags and Taehyung and Jungkook loaded bags of samosas into their arms. Five minutes later, they stumbled outside and crashed down on the first bench they could find.

An oak tree loomed overhead. There was a metal statue that looked like a UFO up on the hill in front of them. Students passed by, more so a part of the scenery than anything Jungkook was explicitly aware of.

"I'm eating ten," Jungkook warned.

"So am I," Taehyung warned right back.

The samosas were the perfect temperature. They were warm, but they didn't burn Jungkook's mouth. Taehyung ripped the cap off a plastic ramekin of tamarind chutney and handed it to Jungkook. Jungkook grunted. There wasn't much talking. There was the crinkling of paper bags, the futile attempts to dust the grease off their hands, the smacking of their lips as they ate. It was satisfying. It was comfortable. It was moments like this that made Jungkook wonder if they really could be friends.

"Okay so..." Taehyung stared into the depths of the last bag.

"How many are left?"

"Four."

"Holy shit." Jungkook rubbed his temples with his greasy fingers. "We're so close."

"So fucking close."

Jungkook took a deep breath. His stomach was so full it felt like his lungs didn't have enough room to expand all the way. He reached into the bag.

"You're too fucking competitive," Taehyung said. 

"So are you."

Taehyung reached into the bag as well. Their wrists brushed. Through the haze of Jungkook's gluttonous stupor, a bolt of pleasure tickled its way all the way down to his lower abdomen. He ate half the samosa in one bite.

"Wait for me," Taehyung complained.

"Eat my dust."

"Watch me."

Taehyung stuffed the entire samosa into his mouth. Jungkook snorted, and Taehyung laughed. Greasy samosa crumbs rained down on Taehyung's slacks. Jungkook snorted again, and Taehyung laughed so hard he spat potato and peas all over the sidewalk.

"That was your fault," Taehyung said, pointing to the mess. "It still counts."

"Excuses, excuses."

They ended up eating all twenty samosas.

***

It was a good stretch.

December arrived, and finals. Taehyung and Jungkook stayed up studying in the living room, bent over their books, Jungkook on the couch and Taehyung sitting on the floor. It was still snowing by the time they went to bed. Campus felt restful, which was strange, given the chaos that was coming their way in the next two weeks.

Jungkook awoke to the sound of someone knocking on his door.

"Mmm?"

Taehyung stepped into the room and shut the door behind him. Jungkook blinked, pushing himself up on his elbows. He wasn't used to this. Usually, whenever Taehyung crawled in with him, he didn't knock, because he was too drunk to be polite. Jungkook's brain was taking its time booting up. His eyes were sore from all the reading.

"What's up?"

"Um." Taehyung took a few steps closer. His voice was barely a whisper. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Oh, oh yeah. Sure."

Jungkook pulled the covers open. Taehyung bolted into the crevice like a spooked animal.

"The fuck? Why are you so cold?"

"I was sitting in the living room."

"You're never cold."

"I was sitting there a long time."

Taehyung was still whispering. Jungkook rubbed his back.

"Is something wrong?"

"I'm not... I'm not feeling very good."

Jungkook grunted, pulling Taehyung closer, making sure all his scrawny limbs were covered by the duvet.

"Have you been taking your vitamins?"

Taehyung had told Jungkook once about how he forgot to take his iron supplements for six months in high school. His blood had almost dropped to an anaemic level. It had been the first time in his life that he'd let his social media accounts go to the wayside. Ever since, Jungkook asked Taehyung at least once a week if he'd been taking his vitamins, and half the time Taehyung's answer was _whoops, no, thanks for reminding me,_ so Jungkook figured he had good cause to be concerned.

"I took a bunch this week, yeah," Taehyung breathed.

"Are you getting a cold?"

"It's not really my body. I just feel..."

Taehyung trailed off. His voice was uncharacteristically ragged. Jungkook ran his fingers through Taehyung's hair, staring at the ceiling. He was wide awake now.

"Did something happen?"

Taehyung shook his head.

Jungkook held Taehyung close. Taehyung smelled like argan oil shampoo, breath, a lingering hint of laundry detergent. It was the first time he'd ever been in Jungkook's bed without filling the room with a boozy miasma.

"It's really nothing," Taehyung whispered. "I'm sorry to bother you."

"Tae..." Jungkook paused.

"What is it?" Taehyung sounded needy, uncertain.

Jungkook took a deep breath. "You never bother me."

Jungkook watched as the top of Taehyung's head lifted. It was too dark to see Taehyung's expression, but he could feel the soft brush of his breath. It was shallow, hurried. Jungkook reached up and moved a bit of hair off Taehyung's forehead. His palm brushed against Taehyung's cheek and it came away wet.

"Tae..."

Taehyung leaned closer, cutting him off.

Jungkook couldn't see Taehyung's mouth, but he could feel it. He saw its perfect shape in his mind, the little birthmark on his lower lip, the way the corners tipped down when his expression was blank, almost like he were frowning, but not quite.

All at once Jungkook didn't care.

He didn't care if Taehyung ended up judging him for all his inexperience. He didn't care if Taehyung found out how he felt. He wanted to bring Taehyung into that wretched place, to show Taehyung the pieces of his heart, to burn them both to the ground with the uncontrollable fire that ignited whenever Taehyung touched him.

Taehyung pulled away slowly. Jungkook let out a shivery breath.

Their legs were laced together. Taehyung was pressing down on him, and Jungkook could feel his heat through his silk pyjama pants. Taehyung pulled up, and Jungkook thought he was going to roll away, but then he slid back down again, gasping in Jungkook's ear.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No," Jungkook said. His voice sounded squashed. "I don't mind." 

Taehyung did it again. He was trembling against Jungkook. Jungkook rested his hand on Taehyung's lower back to help brace him. Taehyung's breath was erratic.

"I just—sorry if, if I—"

"I'm here," Jungkook whispered. "It's okay."

Taehyung kept moving. Jungkook reached up and tangled his fingers in Taehyung's hair. Taehyung let out a choked little groan.

Jungkook didn't know how long it lasted. It seemed timeless, but at the same time, it wasn't anywhere near enough. Taehyung moved faster, faster, and all Jungkook wanted was to reach lower, to brush his fingers over the parts of Taehyung that he'd never seen, to make him feel even better, but he kept his hold steady, because it seemed like Taehyung was close.

A moment later, Taehyung let out a harsh little gasp, slowing to a shuddering stop.

Jungkook didn't think he'd ever felt so many things all at once.

"Better?"

Taehyung swallowed audibly. "Yeah," he breathed. "Thanks." 

"Good."

Taehyung inhaled, as if to speak, but then stopped. He rested his head on Jungkook's chest. Jungkook went back to rubbing his back and staring at the ceiling. Jungkook's shirt was balled up in Taehyung's hand. Jungkook's briefs were twisted around from all of Taehyung's moving. He listened as Taehyung's breath got deeper.

It took a long time for the fire to abate in Jungkook's body. He clung to the feeling, toying with it, replaying Taehyung's sounds and whispers in his mind.

He never wanted it to end.

***

"Hello?"

" _Hey. Jungkook. How's it going_?"

"Jimin?" Jungkook pressed his phone closer to his ear. "How'd you get my number?"

" _From your LinkedIn account. Sorry, I know that's creepy, but it's kind of urgent._ "

Jungkook gripped the edge of the desk. "Why? What happened? What's wrong?"

" _I'm just wondering if you're coming to the cabaret tonight._ "

Jungkook's grip went slack. He closed his eyes.

"Oh. Right. I'm sorry, but I can't."

" _Why not?_ "

Jungkook inhaled deeply. He considered coming up with a lie, but it felt like too much of a struggle on top of everything else.

"I'm not going to watch Tae perform with his friends when he isn't even speaking to me."

" _He isn't mad at you or anything._ " There was a telling pause. " _He's just been busy._ "

Six days.

Six days since Taehyung crawled into Jungkook's bed, and he hadn't been home since. He was ignoring Jungkook's texts. Ignoring his existence. The fact that it was finals season wasn't helping. Jungkook was too exhausted to feel properly miserable, and too miserable to sleep off his exhaustion.

" _We have a spot reserved for you at our table._ _I could stop by the dorms and pick you up on the way._ "

"I'm not home."

" _Okay well._ " Jimin laughed. " _I know that's a lie._ "

"What, are you watching me from the windows or something?" 

" _I'm in the hallway. I've been debating knocking on your door for the past five minutes but I thought that might be weird._ "

"I live with Tae," Jungkook said. "Nothing's weird anymore."

It took Jimin fifteen minutes to find a parking spot. They kept doing laps around the block. Every time they drove past the club, Jungkook's stomach twisted into an increasingly elaborate knot. People were smoking outside. There was an array of wacky jackets, heels, and leathers, hints of Taehyung, but no sign of the man himself. 

Jimin eventually crammed their Tercel in between two big SUVs and shut the gas off. The two of them climbed over a snow bank onto the sidewalk and trudged down the street. The club's neon sign glowed up ahead.

Jungkook told himself that this was it. It was good that he'd let Jimin twist his arm into coming, because it was a chance to finally show Taehyung—to show himself—that he could be just as easygoing as Taehyung's other friends. He was done with scaring Taehyung away. He was done with feeling anything about Taehyung at all.

The bouncer was wearing a pair of Sorrels and a gigantic work parka. He gave their IDs a cursory glance and ushered them inside. Jimin made a beeline for the bar and ordered them both whiskey sodas. The club was so packed Jungkook could barely hear Jimin's voice over the babble of voices.

"It's a sold out show," Jimin yelled. "Taehyung's going to be thrilled."

"Great," Jungkook said. He was beginning to wonder why it had been so important for him to come when the club was literally teeming with audience members.

Jimin grabbed Jungkook's hand and pulled him through the crowd. Jungkook noted, with a heavy heart, that there was no jolt of electricity that shot up his arm when Jimin touched him. They weaved their way around a railing, down a set of stairs, and past a line of tables.

Hoseok waved at them from a table right next to the stage.

"That's our table?" Jungkook asked.

"Front row seats," Jimin said.

Jungkook tried not to grimace. He sat down and sipped his whiskey soda while Jimin and Hoseok debated buying glow sticks from the merch table. A waiter came by and Hoseok ordered two pitchers of beer. Eventually, their other friends showed up—Felix from the cafe, a dancer named Hwasa, and Holland, a guy all of them had met at the gay bar just last weekend.

Jungkook did his best to laugh along with their jokes. The last thing he wanted was Taehyung peeking out from backstage and seeing Jungkook glowering to himself while everyone else was having the time of their lives.

The preshow seemed interminable. Jungkook ended up drinking way too much beer. When he was halfway through his third pint, he glanced over his shoulder for what felt like the hundredth time. Jimin leaned over, whispering in his ear. "He's not going to come out until after he performs. He's hype about his costume and he told me he doesn't want to spoil the surprise."

"Oh," Jungkook said, trying to sound casual. "Cool."

The washroom signs had been replaced with big posters that read _this one has more stalls_ and _this one has some urinals._ Jungkook went into the one with more stalls, took a pee, splashed some water on his face, realized that the washroom was a possible place to run into Taehyung because Taehyung might want to use the mirrors to touch up his makeup, and bolted outside so quickly he almost smashed himself in the face with the door. 

He got a glass of water from the bar and wandered back to the table. He was barely in his seat when the lights dimmed.

Everybody cheered.

Jungkook's heart tore off at a sprint.

A court jester waltzed onto the stage. "Welcome, my lovelies. Tonight we have quite a line-up in place. We're kicking things off with the fabulous Lovegood, and then we have a voguing act that'll blow your socks off. Stay tuned afterwards for the light of my life, the subject of my wet dreams, the one and only Vante."

"That's him," Jimin whispered in Jungkook's ear. "That's Tae."

Jungkook looked around frantically.

"No, no," Jimin giggled, covering their mouth with a hand. "I didn't see him or anything. That's just his stage name. He's up third."

Jungkook leaned back in his chair. It was a casual pose, but every muscle in his body was rigid. The first performer performed an eighties ballad that seemed to go on forever. Jungkook drank more beer. The voguing act was actually insane, Jungkook wondered peripherally if his legs would be strong enough to pull off some of the moves, but most of his mind was preoccupied with the impending doom known as Taehyung performing burlesque on the stage that was barely five feet from where Jungkook was currently sitting.

The voguing troop strutted off the stage to a roar of applause. The lights dimmed to something that reminded Jungkook of an old jazz lounge. He wasn't even trying to look relaxed anymore. He was sitting up straight. His hands were clenched in his lap.

The crackle of old vinyl broke through the speakers. Jungkook recognized the song, but he couldn't place where it was from.

A sparkly leg poked out from behind the curtains.

_I, I will be king_

The leg was joined by a sparkly hand. The forefinger curled upwards, beckoning to the audience to come hither.

_And you, you will be queen_

Taehyung exploded out of the curtains, pushing them aside like double doors. The crowd erupted into applause, and Jungkook knew at that moment that he was incurably fucked.

Taehyung walked slowly to the centre of the stage, mouthing the words with sensuous, rouged up lips. He was wearing black, sparkly thigh-high garters with matching gloves. The rest of his body was hidden underneath a long velvet cloak. He'd dyed his hair cotton-candy pink, and his eyes were smoky and dark.

_And I, I'll drink all the time_

Jungkook could barely move. He sat there, stricken, staring at Taehyung as he dropped his way down to his knees, flashing something lacy underneath his cloak.

_'Cause we're lovers, and that is a fact_

Jungkook had never felt this way about anybody before. He doubted he would ever feel this way about anybody ever again. It wasn't just the way Taehyung looked. It was the fact that, after getting ghosted for six days, instead of feeling angry like he should have, Jungkook felt like _this_.

_Yes we're lovers, and that is that_

Taehyung pinched the tip of one of his gloves in his teeth. His hand slipped free. He reached up, wrapping his bare fingers around the dangling glove, and stroked it slowly. The action was incredibly suggestive. His eyes were love drunk, overwrought. Looking at him made Jungkook realize that yes, Taehyung was cruel, but he must understand at least a bit of what Jungkook was feeling if he could make that expression look so genuine.

_Though nothing, will keep us together_

Jungkook and Taehyung had listened to this song together the night Taehyung had heard back about his top surgery appointment. It was a retro remix, with slow jazz percussion and someone with a low, sultry voice crooning their way through the verses. That was why Jungkook hadn't recognized it right away. His heart ached at the memory. He wondered how someone could feel so close, and yet so far away at the same time.

Taehyung stood up quickly, covering his mouth in shock. The audience took a collective breath. Taehyung pinched the end of the bow holding cloak closed. He pulled, slowly, slowly, glancing at the audience as if he couldn't believe what was happening. The silk belt popped apart and the robe flew open.

Jungkook's body was on fire.

Not because Taehyung was wearing red lace panties and a corset. Because it was _Taehyung,_ who of course had the temerity to do burlesque in the first place. Taehyung, who Jungkook hadn't seen in six days. It was surely the longest week of his entire life.

_We could steal time, just for one day_

Taehyung tossed his cloak to the side and wandered to the edge of the stage. He rolled his hips, once, twice, and then hopped down into the crowd, landing perfectly on his heels. Jungkook's eyes widened. The spotlight followed him as he strolled through the tables, gazing at people with tragic and beautiful longing, never finding exactly what he was looking for.

Jungkook had been staring at Taehyung for the past two minutes, so when Taehyung glanced over and finally saw him, it felt almost miraculous. Jungkook had forgotten where he was, or the fact that he had a body that someone could acknowledge. The moment Taehyung noticed him, Jungkook's self-awareness came flying back so abruptly he gasped. 

_We can be heroes, for ever and ever_

Taehyung's expression faltered. Jungkook couldn't look away. Taehyung glanced up at the stage, and took a few steps towards it. Then he paused, and he looked back at Jungkook. His expression was raw.

Jungkook smiled. He didn't want to be the reason Taehyung fucked up his performance, but Taehyung was turning around anyway, sitting back on the stage. He mouthed the last phrase while staring directly at Jungkook.

_What d'you say?_

Jungkook, like the fool that he was, nodded.

The lights went out.

The room exploded with applause and whistles. Jungkook sucked in a breath like he'd been underwater for the past four minutes. Jimin was patting him on the back for some reason.

The rest of the first set went by like a blur. When it was over, Jungkook finished his glass of water, got his coat on, and made his way to the door.

"Jungkook!"

Jungkook turned around. Taehyung was standing there, wrapped in his velvet cloak, long fingers balancing a glass of beer.

Jungkook smiled. "That was amazing."

"Thanks for coming." Taehyung gestured with his glass. "Where are you going?"

For the second time that day, Jungkook realized he was too tired to lie.

"I don't think I'll be able to have fun tonight, but I didn't want to kill the vibe. I'm going to go home so you folks can enjoy yourselves."

"Oh. Okay."

Jungkook turned to go.

"Jungkook..."

Jungkook paused, waiting.

"Please don't go."

"I don't see why it matters either way."

"Jungkook, I'm..." Taehyung set his beer down. "I'm really sorry." When Jungkook didn't respond, Taehyung took a deep breath and continued. "You don't think you could have fun with us?" 

"Really?" Jungkook turned to face Taehyung. "You really don't know?"

Taehyung blinked at him. Jungkook wanted to stop talking, but apparently his brain was too tired for that too.

"You ghosted me for six days. You just expect everything to be normal now?"

"Guk—"

"You know what, forget it." Jungkook couldn't bear the prospect of Taehyung walking away first, like he always did. He made his way to the exit. 

He was halfway down the block when something clattered behind him.

He spun around. Taehyung was floundering on his back in a snow bank. Jungkook was there in a matter of seconds. 

"Are you okay?"

"Holy shit," Taehyung laughed. "I hit an icy patch." He was still in his heels.

"Fuck," Jungkook groaned. "You could've seriously injured yourself."

"Nah, I'm made of elastics."

Jungkook pulled Taehyung to his feet. Taehyung started to shiver. He was still in his stage outfit. The right half of it was covered in powdery snow, like he was a cookie that had been dipped in icing.

"Do you have a coat?"

"This is my coat."

"You're insane."

"See, that's what I've been trying to get you to understand."

"Still not an excuse for being an asshole."

"I'm really sorry," Taehyung mumbled.

Jungkook frowned. He unzipped his puffer jacket and held open the sides. Taehyung looked at Jungkook in surprise, and Jungkook nodded, still scowling. 

Taehyung hurried forward, snuggling up against Jungkook's body. Jungkook zipped up the jacket with Taehyung inside.

"Now what?"

"I called an Uber. It's going to get to the bar in five minutes."

"Where were you walking to?"

Jungkook shrugged. "Doing laps around the block. Blowing off steam."

Taehyung was quiet.

A gust of wind buffeted overhead. A sheet of snow drifted down from the rooftops, sparkling in Taehyung's hair like faerie dust.

"Can I ask you something?" Taehyung asked quietly.

"Yeah."

"Do you pity me?"

"Absolutely not."

"Are you sure? I'm pretty pitiable."

"I can't wrap my mind around that concept."

"You're a psych major and I just thought... maybe you were trying to help me or something. You know, practising." 

"Taehyung, for the love of god..."

"Because you do help me. A lot." Taehyung's hands were tracing circles on Jungkook's back. "I don't want to take too much."

Jungkook was silent. 

"I never know what you're thinking," Taehyung said.

"I'm an open book."

"That's bullshit."

"You're worse."

A truck passed by, kicking gravel up onto the snow banks.

"What were you thinking about, though?" Taehyung whispered. "Just now, when you got all quiet?"

"I was thinking about how I wish you'd take more of me."

Taehyung went still.

Their Uber arrived.

The car was warm. Taehyung extricated himself from Jungkook's coat and took the far left seat. Jungkook sat on the right and leaned his head against the glass, watching the streetlights flicker past. The fact that Taehyung had ditched his friends to go home with Jungkook hung awkwardly in the air. Neither of them were drunk enough to pretend it didn't matter.

They crawled up the stairs to their floor. Jungkook boiled water while Taehyung got changed. Taehyung curled up on the couch in a big blanket. Jungkook brought him a cup of tea.

"Thanks," he said softly.

Jungkook sat on the edge of the couch.

"Thanks for being patient with me, even though I'm such a psych case."

"You're not a psych case. Nobody's a psych case," Jungkook said. "Everyone has a story that makes them human."

Taehyung sighed. "You're too good for me."

"Taehyung." Jungkook set his tea down. "Why are you so hell bent on convincing me not to like you?"

Taehyung stared at the ground.

"Do you want me to stop?"

There were tears in Taehyung's eyes. His hands were shaking. Jungkook reached out and took his tea away before he spilled it on himself.

"You must know." Jungkook dropped his gaze. "How I feel about you."

"I do," Taehyung said laboriously. "But I don't think you really know what you're getting yourself into."

"You keep saying that. I don't get it."

"I'm kind of fucked up. And not in a fun way, Jungkook. It isn't all random baking sessions, fun outfits, and philosophical tangents."

"I want to hear about your past," Jungkook muttered. "I want to hold you while you cry. I want to cook you nice meals and make you feel good... like the other night." His cheeks flushed pink at the memory.

"Will you take care of me after my top surgery?" Taehyung sucked in a deep breath, and then burst into tears. "I don't have anyone to take care of me."

Jungkook crawled on top of Taehyung and wrapped him up in his arms. "Of course I'll take care of you."

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I want to so bad."

"I'll be gross, and I'll probably sleep all the time," Taehyung choked. "It'll be no fun at all."

"Please, Tae. Let me inside your world."

"Nobody's inside my world. Nobody sees it all."

Jungkook cradled Taehyung's head, stroking his fingers through his hair. Taehyung bit back a few more sobs.

"You're so strong all the time," Jungkook said. "I think that's great, but you don't always have to be perfect. Not around me."

"Why? Why do I feel like what you're saying might actually be true?"

"Because..."

 _I'm in love with you._

Jungkook kissed Taehyung.

_And you're complicated and intense and brilliant, so on some level you must already know_

Taehyung's lips were quivering again, and Jungkook could hear something like a groan rising in his throat. Jungkook brushed their noses together, rubbing his thumbs over Taehyung's cheekbones. Taehyung held onto him, arms wrapped tight around Jungkook's torso, all the way to the washroom to brush their teeth and pee and back down the hall to Taehyung's room.

"Your room this time?" Jungkook asked. "Well that's new."

"I figured you might have flashbacks of me walking out on you if we slept in your bed."

Jungkook pursed his lips, glancing at Taehyung from the side, and Taehyung giggled nervously.

"I won't bring it up again."

"No, it's good. Keep making light of it." Jungkook stripped down to his boxers and crawled into Taehyung's bed. "I was being immature."

Taehyung watched him until he was hidden underneath the sheets. Then, he did the same, leaving nothing but his red lace panties.

"Was it really that hard?" he asked, once he was safely wrapped around Jungkook again. "Being without me?"

"Those six days can suck my ass," Jungkook muttered.

Taehyung giggled again.

It was hard to believe that Taehyung's room was the same design as Jungkook's. The white walls were covered in artist prints, band posters, and tapestries that he'd illegally hammered nails in for and was going to have to fill in before they moved out if they wanted their deposit back. The closet was exploding with clothes. The bureau was covered in ornamental lamps, jewellery racks, wig stands, and makeup. There was a Persian rug on the floor.

"You need anything?" Jungkook asked.

Taehyung shook his head.

Jungkook reached over and turned the lamp off.

The silence seemed connected to the darkness. Both simmered in the space around them like ink in water. Jungkook ran his hand down Taehyung's shoulder, wondering if Taehyung was going to stick around this time, or if Taehyung was one of those people who would resist permanence until the day he died.

"Guk?"

"Mmm?"

"What's your ideal type?"

Jungkook laughed.

"What? I want to know."

"Well..." Jungkook thought for a moment. "Growing up, I always saw myself with a nice woman. Kind of like my mom. Responsible, kind. Then in high school I realized my feelings weren't limited to women."

"I feel that."

"Then I got to university."

Jungkook hard-stopped.

"And?"

"Do I have to say it? I feel like you already know."

"I'm not sure that I do."

"You're a jerk." Jungkook snorted, and then took a deep breath. "Fine. And then... then I realized my feelings were more limited than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"Limited to one person."

"Who?"

Taehyung's voice was so raw, it was easy to think he might actually be clueless about what Jungkook was saying, but Jungkook knew better.

"I fell for you," Jungkook said, almost resentfully. "So fucking hard."

"Are you for real?"

"What—why would you say that?"

"Why didn't you make a move? All those nights I crawled in with you?"

Jungkook's voice was pained. "Because I'm not like you and your friends. I can't do that stuff casually."

"Only with your partners then? Platonically, in safe environments with close friends? In kink spaces with clearly defined boundaries?"

"I don't know," Jungkook grunted.

There was a pause.

"What about the people you've slept with so far?"

"There are no people I've slept with so far."

"But you told me..."

"I lied."

Another pause.

"I'm a loser, I know," Jungkook said.

"What?" Taehyung asked, speaking slowly, as he was just waking up from a dream. "Fuck, no. Virgins are so cute."

"Virgins are cringe."

"How would you know? Have you ever taken someone's virginity?"

It was a fair point.

"Sorry," Taehyung said, distracted. "I'm overcome by images of deflowering you." He laughed a couple times, incredulous. "Like, for real. They're really not letting up."

Jungkook wanted to make a joke, but he wanted something else more, so he forced himself not to laugh. "I thought you weren't into that kind of thing."

"What kind of thing?"

"Domming people or... topping?" Jungkook said the words carefully. He wasn't entirely sure of their meanings yet. "You're always talking about finding a sugar daddy and stuff, so I just thought—"

"I was mainly joking. I'd never be able to stand someone breathing down my neck all the time and treating me like their property. I'm actually a switch."

"You like it both ways."

"Exactly." Taehyung brushed his hand over Jungkook's chest. "Are you telling me you're a sub?"

"I'm not sure."

"Try this for a second. Imagine receiving the highest standard of care, safe in my hands, as I push deep inside you, letting all your worries go, kicking it back while I work you over, leaving nice little marks all over your neck—"

Jungkook swallowed.

"Does that do anything for you?"

"Yeah," Jungkook said. "I'd say it does."

"Cool." If the lights were on, Jungkook was almost entirely certain Taehyung would've given him a thumbs-up at that point, like the callous bastard that he was. "Now think about the reverse. Pressing down on me with that... that muscular heft of yours, calling the shots, taking me apart until I'm moaning in your ear—"

"Good god."

"You like that too?" Taehyung tickled underneath Jungkook's chin. "Sounds like we've got some options. That is..." His voice suddenly sounded a little flat. "If you want to."

"Fuck, Taehyung," Jungkook whispered. "I want to."

"Really?"

"It's all I think about sometimes."

Taehyung shifted against Jungkook restlessly. There were so few clothes, so much skin, and Jungkook could barely breathe.

"You're incredibly sexy, you know that?" Taehyung breathed in his ear. "Like, wet-dream level, jerking off in bathroom stalls to stave you off kind of sexy."

"Did you actually do that?"

"Oh, all the time."

Jungkook moaned openly.

"And the way you just feel stuff," Taehyung continued, sounding a little frayed, sliding his hand down Jungkook's stomach. "It's so authentic. It drives me crazy."

"Wanna make you feel stuff too."

"I'm not opposed to that. But I think I owe you first."

Taehyung teased a finger underneath the waistband of Jungkook's boxers. Jungkook arched against the bed, huffing.

"Jesus, you're responsive."

Taehyung pushed his hand inside Jungkook's underwear, and then it was nothing but Taehyung's fingers, Jungkook already so, so wet before Taehyung even touched him, but even more so now, with Taehyung's fingers sliding over and around him with practised leisure. Jungkook felt like he was bleeding.

"Is this okay?" Taehyung asked, brushing the pad of his finger against Jungkook's opening.

"Everything's okay," Jungkook whimpered.

"Okay, but promise you'll tell me if that changes alright?"

Jungkook nodded ferociously.

Taehyung giggled again, and then pushed a finger inside Jungkook as if it was any other Friday night.

Jungkook had no delusions about the fact that they were coming at this from a slightly different perspective. Taehyung slept with his friends all the time. He'd probably done this exact same thing with Jimin at some point. Maybe Jimin had done it to him too. Jungkook, on the other hand, was experiencing critical levels of mind-blowed-ness, to the point where he wondered if Taehyung's hands were the instruments of some powerful spiritual being.

He took deep breaths. He told himself it was going to be okay. And then Taehyung was ripping the covers away, pulling Jungkook's boxers off, and sliding _down—_ and Jungkook's mind imploded again.

"Tae—"

"Can I eat you out, Guk? I wanna eat you out so bad."

Jungkook was happy to hear that Taehyung was starting to sound a little wrecked too. He pushed his head up, trying to see Taehyung in the dark.

"Turn the light on," Taehyung suggested.

The thought struck fear into Jungkook's heart. He had literally never shown his parts to anybody, and here Taehyung was, face-to-face with the whole entire business. But Taehyung was the same, he reminded himself. Taehyung had the same body, similar worries, and Jungkook... at least in that sense... trusted him.

The lamp turned on with a _click_. Warm light illuminated the planes of Taehyung's body. His pink hair was sticking in all directions. The sight of his pretty lips hovering so near to the mess between Jungkook's legs made Jungkook shiver.

"What do you say, pretty boy?" Taehyung murmured. "Can I?"

"Are you sure you want to?"

"Please, Gukkie." Taehyung licked his lips.

"G-go for it."

Taehyung's eyes tumbled closed. Jungkook watched, transfixed, as he nuzzled into Jungkook's pubes, kissing his pubic bone, and then his lips were around Jungkook's clit and Jungkook couldn't watch anymore, because he was too busy twitching against the mattress, gripping his own hair, eyes slammed shut, panting.

"Feels good?" Taehyung mumbled, around Jungkook's clit.

Jungkook whined.

Taehyung chuckled fondly, and then pushed two fingers inside Jungkook.

Jungkook lay back and took it until the pleasure was too near. His hips ground upwards into Taehyung's mouth, and Taehyung made an affirmative noise.

"C'mon, fuck my mouth, c'mon."

Jungkook was openly moaning. That wasn't even the issue. It was taking so much effort just to manage himself in this moment, anything that helped relieve the ache in his body was good. Moaning took the edge off, the same way allowing a small funnel of vapour to escape from an overheated steam engine might take the edge off. It wasn't much, but it was something.

Taehyung's tongue was so wet, so perfect. Taehyung's fingers were probing the deepest most swollen parts of Jungkook, pressing into them in a slow, hypnotic pulse. Jungkook sucked in a breath, almost choked, and then moaned harshly.

Taehyung moaned too.

Jungkook came like that, trapped against Taehyung's mouth, fucked open on his fingers, thighs trembling and wide. Taehyung luxuriated in Jungkook's aftershocks. He fingered Jungkook until Jungkook reached down and grabbed at Taehyung's hair. Taehyung pulled back, meeting Jungkook's eye.

"Good?"

"Yeah." Jungkook couldn't seem to knock the whine out of his voice. "Real good."

Taehyung licked his fingers clean. His lips looked sinful.

"Fuck," Jungkook choked.

"You taste amazing."

"Can I do that to you now?"

"I mean, yes." Taehyung rested his palm over Jungkook's pussy, thinking to himself. Jungkook felt himself twitch. "I had an idea though... if you're down."

"I'm down for anything."

"Think you're up for fucking me?" Taehyung glanced up at Jungkook. His cheeks looked a little pink, but it was hard to tell with the lighting. "I've been thinking about it a lot these days. How nice it would be. To get railed by you."

Taehyung was definitely blushing.

"I don't know how to make that happen but yes."

"This is how we make it happen."

Taehyung pulled open the drawer next to Jungkook's head and pulled something out that was curvy and purple.

"Is that a dildo?"

"Mhm." Taehyung showed it to Jungkook. "It's an insertable strap-on. This end would go inside you, and then you could... do me with this end."

Jungkook stared at the bulb. It looked really big.

"Or you can eat me out," Taehyung said. "Or we can just go to sleep. I mean, anything's good, no press—"

Jungkook took the dildo out of Taehyung's hands.

"This thing is cool." He inspected it from a few angles. When he looked at Taehyung again, Taehyung was even redder than before. "Are you embarrassed?"

"I don't fucking know why, but yes."

"Come here." Jungkook patted the bed beside him. "Make yourself comfortable."

Taehyung held Jungkook's gaze for a moment.

From the moment they'd met, there were these instances when Jungkook had the uncanny feeling that they already knew everything about each other. Everything else—the awkwardness, the conversations, the plans—were superfluous, like a dance they were doing just to put on good face. Those moments usually involved eye contact. Eye contact without words, because words were superfluous too.

Taehyung looked down, and even that was notable. It struck Jungkook as deliberate, shy; so intensely attractive that he had to grit his teeth to get through it.

They traded places. Taehyung crawled over and lay back on the pillows. Jungkook arranged himself between Taehyung's legs and set the dildo to the side.

"Probably need to warm you up a bit before this will fit."

"Yeah," Taehyung said, breathless. "That's probably a good idea."

"Okay."

"Alright."

There was a pause.

"Okay well," Jungkook said. He leaned down and kissed Taehyung through his panties. Taehyung's breath caught in his throat. Jungkook ran his fingers over smooth silk, and Taehyung gasped a little more. Taehyung's textures, even through a layer of fabric, were utterly fascinating.

Taehyung let him explore. He didn't rush him, didn't beg, even when a big oval stain began to form through the silk. Jungkook slipped a finger underneath the edge to check it out. Something warm and slick slid over his knuckle.

"These need to come off," he decided.

"I'd say so."

He pulled Taehyung's legs together and yanked the panties off, tossing them on the floor. Taehyung seemed reluctant to spread his knees again. 

"C'mon." Jungkook patted Taehyung's legs encouragingly. "It's okay."

Taehyung huffed. The blush had crept down to his collar bones. His eyes were misty. He let his legs drop open, like he were a puppet whose strings had been cut. Jungkook stared.

"You're fucking gorgeous."

"Stop."

"Fuck, Tae."

"What is it?"

"I want you so bad."

"I want you too," Taehyung whispered, like it hurt him to say it out loud. "I've always wanted you."

"Always?"

"Always."

Jungkook ran his hands along Taehyung's inner thighs, thinking. Then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to Taehyung's pubic bone, shamelessly stealing one of Taehyung's moves. Taehyung whimpered.

"Me too," Jungkook murmured against Taehyung's skin.

"Gukkie."

Jungkook dragged his tongue up between Taehyung's folds. An uncontrollable groan rose in Jungkook's throat, the same way it did when the first bite of a meal surprised him with its deliciousness.

Taehyung reached down and grabbed Jungkook's hair.

"No joke Taehyung," Jungkook gasped, in between slow, decadent licks, "I've wanted you my whole life."

"Oh god, Gukkie," Taehyung moaned. "Oh god."

Jungkook decided he was going to eat Taehyung out until the thirst in his throat let up a bit, but that moment never really arrived. Taehyung kept gushing, and Jungkook kept sucking, licking, and swallowing, and he started to realize that he was going to have to take it upon himself to rip himself away if he was ever going to end up fucking Taehyung like they'd talked about. 

He pulled off one of Taehyung's labia with a gasp. He stared at Taehyung's cunt, already questioning his decision to stop. A second later he began to process the sounds Taehyung had been making in hindsight.

It was the silence that made it more obvious. The silence lay in stark contrast to the commotion before it. Taehyung was shivering against the mattress, panting.

"I don't wanna stop," Jungkook said.

"Gukkie," Taehyung said. His voice was hoarse.

"Really don't wanna." Jungkook pouted, twisting his hand. The three fingers that were inside Taehyung squelched as their angle shifted.

"Oh god."

"Think you're ready?"

"C'mere, baby." Taehyung dragged Jungkook up by his shoulders. Jungkook pulled his fingers out carefully and crawled his clumsy way into Taehyung's arms. Taehyung kissed him deeply, and then pulled away, examining him shrewdly. "Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

"Beginner's luck?"

"You're doing so good." Taehyung rubbed Jungkook's back. "I came—did you feel it?"

"I think so, yeah."

"Your fingers are mean." Taehyung picked up the dildo and handed it to Jungkook. "How about beating me up some more?"

"Oh." Jungkook blushed. "Did I go too hard?"

"No, not at all." Taehyung was blushing too. Jungkook didn't think he'd ever seen Taehyung blush so many times in the whole time that he'd known him. "Sorry, that was my version of bad dirty talk."

"Another way to make light of things?"

"Stop psychoanalyzing me," Taehyung laughed, smacking Jungkook's thigh. "Fuck me instead."

"It's okay." Jungkook pressed the bulb to his own opening and took a deep breath. "I like it when you talk like that. It's exciting."

The feeling was a little strange.

The bulb was really big, and once it was all the way inside, it anchored itself inside his body much more firmly than Taehyung's fingers. Jungkook stared down at the cock dangling between his legs. He yanked on it and whimpered in surprise.

"Feels cool, huh?"

"Yeah," Jungkook said breathlessly.

Jungkook crawled on top of Taehyung and kissed him again. His cock kept dragging against Taehyung's body and pulling on sensitive parts inside of him. He moaned in Taehyung's ear.

"Here," Taehyung murmured.

He reached down. Jungkook held himself up on his forearm, trying to see what Taehyung was doing.

"Okay," Taehyung said. "Go."

Jungkook pushed his hips forward. Both of them moaned this time. Taehyung's hand sprang up to grab Jungkook's shoulder.

"Okay?" Jungkook gasped.

"It's so deep, fuck."

"Should I keep going?"

"I like deep. Deep is good for me."

Jungkook pulled back, testing the length of his cock, mapping the space between them, and then pushed back inside Taehyung, taking it slow. Taehyung bucked against the mattress.

"I wanna fuck your brains out," Jungkook whispered.

"Please, Gukkie." Taehyung had never sounded so vehement. "Please, yes, god—"

Jungkook usually did his best not to think about this kind of thing.

When he was a lot younger, he'd fantasized about topping someone—a cute girl in his art class, his favourite anime character, Troye Sivan, and other classy choices—but as the years went by, he gave up on it more and more.

All the yaoi he read involved two cisgender men. Most gay porn was the same. There were fanfics out there that featured trans characters, but more often than not, the relationship was between a cisgender guy and a transgender guy, and the transgender guy was the bottom. He told himself topping someone would feel emasculating, having to procure a dick of his own.

Maybe this was why he'd never dated anybody before. He believed he would forever be limited by the constraints of his body. And then he met Taehyung, and Taehyung turned his entire world upside down, and Jungkook didn't know what he believed anymore.

One thing was certain.

This moment...

...gripping Taehyung's hips, his hair; devouring his mouth, moaning, there was so much moaning... Taehyung, his roommate, his three-month muse, squirming underneath him, whispering Jungkook's name...

...felt nothing but amazing.

Jungkook knew it already, but in that moment, connected to Taehyung by this piece of silicon, he saw it all over again—the way that different body parts, sexual acts, or pieces of clothing had no inherent gender. Jungkook, with Taehyung's long fingers tangled in his hair and Taehyung's sex toy anchored firmly in his pussy, had never felt like more of a man.

_Euphoria_

"I'm going to cum." Taehyung's voice was hoarse, delirious, like he'd moaned himself to a different plane.

Jungkook kept his rhythm steady. Taehyung was jerking himself off. Jungkook planked a little higher, giving him more room to move his wrist, staring fixedly at Taehyung's face, blinking away drops of sweat.

Taehyung's mouth dropped open the same way it did whenever Jungkook gave him a back massage in between study sessions. Jungkook, on some level, was satisfied. He'd always wondered if that was Taehyung's orgasm face. Taehyung's eyes rolled underneath his lids, and the low moan rising in his throat broke off into beautiful nothingness.

Jungkook could feel him clenching.

The tightness pushed against Jungkook's dick, and Jungkook slowed his hips. Taehyung opened his eyes and gave a little breathless laugh when he realized he was being watched.

The moment of levity was short-lived.

Taehyung maintained eye contact for the rest of his orgasm. His mouth was open, but his jaw was tense—Jungkook could see his tongue skirting restively over his molars. His expression was stricken, like he needed Jungkook's help to get through this.

Jungkook didn't know how long it lasted.

It was stunning, timeless... a moment that seemed to bleed into the rest of Jungkook's life, even as Jungkook was laughing breathlessly against Taehyung's neck, and Taehyung was giggling in his ear, wrapping his legs around him and dragging him into another kiss.

Taehyung wanted to toss the toy on the floor and forget about it, but Jungkook went and washed it in the bathroom. He gave his face a scrub and got them more water while he was at it.

"You wanna know a secret?" Taehyung asked.

"Go ahead."

The two of them were back underneath the blankets, wrapped around each other like tangled rope.

"I've never done that before."

"What?"

"Had someone fuck me with a strap-on."

Jungkook frowned incredulously. "What about Jimin?"

"That was more of a hands and mouths situation."

"And Hoseok?"

"Not even mouths, just hands, and we were both so drunk it never really went anywhere."

"What about..." Jungkook wracked his mind. "All the other people you've slept with?"

"Uh. Well, that's it."

"But you told me—"

"I lied."

There was a beat.

"Okay, not entirely," Taehyung blurted. "I've made out with dozens of people, but not many of them actually saw my undercarriage."

Jungkook was completely derailed by how much he fucking loved the word _undercarriage_ and he let out a honking shriek of laughter.

"So I'm the third...?"

"Maybe the fourth." Taehyung screwed up his eyes. "The fifth? Yeah, the fifth."

Five people. That was a lot less than Jungkook had been expecting.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't easy." Taehyung ran his finger along one of Jungkook's collar bones. "When you started inspecting my dildo like it was some kind of nifty gadget I almost lost my shit."

"It is a nifty gadget."

"Yeah sure. Primarily, though, it's an earthly extension of the dicks that both of us possess on the astral plane."

"Okay, fair."

"Your astral dick is really nice, by the way."

"Pshaw."

Jungkook had been blushing so steadily he wondered if his blood vessels were going to forget how to lead normal lives. 

Both of them lay there for a while. Every time one of them shifted, the sheets exuded a hint of their combined scents. Jungkook inhaled eagerly.

"You wanna know one of my secrets?" he asked quietly.

Taehyung nodded. His hair brushed against Jungkook's cheek.

Jungkook pursed his lips. His eyes were fixed on the ceiling. Taehyung had draped a colourful scarf over the light fixture. He doubted it was up to code. Neither of them had burned the dorms down yet, so he figured it was fine. Probably. Hopefully.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

Jungkook didn't realize how tense Taehyung was until he shuffled. Taehyung's body had no give, stiff against him.

"I don't expect anything," he said quickly. "It's more symbolic, you know? Like you're the first person I've ever felt this for, and I just thought it would be cool to tell you, and maybe thank you for—"

Taehyung inhaled shakily.

Jungkook paused. "Tae?"

"I want to trust you," Taehyung whispered.

"Why wouldn't you trust me?"

"There are no reasons, just..." Taehyung sniffled, and then he laughed. It was almost as chesty and awkward as one of Jungkook's laughs. "I think I'm falling too."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Taehyung seemed to think for a moment. "Yeah, I'm definitely falling in love with you too."

He broke down into tears.

Taehyung clung to Jungkook, sobbing into his shoulder. Jungkook massaged his back, and tried to make himself feel guilty for the smile lingering on his lips, but there was no room inside his heart for anything but this explosive, powerful elation.

"I love you," he whispered.

Taehyung cried harder. He was melting. Jungkook could feel the damns breaking, the surge, the doors in Taehyung's heart opening, beckoning timidly for Jungkook to step inside. Jungkook vowed that even if Taehyung ended up breaking his heart, he was going to treat Taehyung well.

Night seemed to cozy in closer. Taehyung's sobs calmed into little moans, which eventually petered off into wet sniffles. Jungkook handed Taehyung the roll of toilet paper that Taehyung kept on his nightstand. Taehyung blew his nose.

"Oh man," Taehyung sighed.

His sinuses sounded plugged. Jungkook reached up and massaged the bridge of Taehyung's nose, and then the parts of his face on either side. Taehyung rolled onto his side and gazed into Jungkook's eyes. Jungkook's hand wandered, exploring the rest of Taehyung's face, brushing over his lips, his cheekbones, his eyebrows.

"You're perfect."

"You're a vision," Taehyung murmured. "A god."

Jungkook reached under the covers, searching for Taehyung's hand. Taehyung wove their fingers together. Jungkook turned off the light. The darkness was less anxious now. It simmered around them like fire in a grate.

"Even if you leave tomorrow," Jungkook said. "I won't regret a thing."

"I'm not going to leave. Those six days sucked for me too."

It was as good an oath as any, and certainly a groundbreaking admission coming from someone like Taehyung.

They fell asleep like that, foreheads touching, face-to-face. Jungkook couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so deeply. It was finals season and he had two papers due next week, but his mind was perfectly blank. At some point in the night, he must've rolled away, because he woke up on his back.

Pale sunlight hovered behind Taehyung's blinds, casting patterns on the floor. The covers were pushed aside, and Taehyung was gone.

Jungkook smacked his lips, reaching for a glass of water. He wiped sleep out of his eyes. He rooted around on the floor for his shirt. He tended to the needs of his body, because that was easier than facing the enormity of the question pending in his mind.

Something smashed in the kitchen.

Jungkook sprinted down the hall like it was Christmas morning.

"Shit, don't come in here," Taehyung said. He was barefoot, wearing an apron, with a frying pan in one hand and a spatula in the other.

The floor was covered in porcelain shards.

"What happened?"

"I dropped a plate."

"Okay, don't move." Jungkook inched his way to the door and slipped into a pair of sneakers. "Put the tofu scramble down."

"It's too hot. It'll melt the counter."

Jungkook retrieved a trivet out of the drawer and placed it within Taehyung's reach. Taehyung put the frying pan down. Jungkook picked Taehyung up and carried him to safety.

"Did you get any in your feet?"

"No, I didn't move once it dropped."

"Are you sure?"

"Jungkook," Taehyung giggled, pushing Jungkook away. "Stop, I'm ticklish."

Jungkook let go of Taehyung's foot and watched reluctantly as he slid it into one of his oxfords.

"I'll get the broom."

Taehyung spooned tofu scramble into two bowls while Jungkook cleaned up the floor. He had just finished dumping the last of the shards into the garbage when Taehyung spilled tea all over the counter.

There was so much chaos. Jungkook couldn't stop laughing. Taehyung threw the dishcloth at Jungkook's face without wringing it out and lukewarm sencha blasted all over the cupboards. Jungkook grabbed Taehyung and pushed him into the counter, and they wrestled until the dish rack went sailing onto the floor with a crash. Thank god it only had a couple forks in it.

Jungkook planted his ass in a chair, gasping for breath. Taehyung slammed a bowl of tofu scramble in front of him, forgetting to give him a fork, and Jungkook attacked it face first.

"You're a fucking animal," Taehyung cackled, leaning against the counter.

Jungkook swallowed. He looked up and caught Taehyung's eye. Taehyung's cheeks were bulging with tofu scramble too. 

Taehyung was here.

Taehyung was still here.

Jungkook cleared his throat. Taehyung dropped his gaze to the floor, and then looked up and met Jungkook's eye again.

It swept in like a high after the first toke.

One of those moments, where nothing existed except the two of them. Jungkook could feel it in his chest; the feeling that even though life refused to stop its mad dance towards the future, this moment, with all its fleeting nuances, would last forever. 

And then Jungkook picked a fork up off the ground, dusted it off on his boxers, and returned to his breakfast. Taehyung made himself another cup of tea, and the two of them decided to walk over to the atrium to study for the rest of the day. Jimin texted saying they would drop off Taehyung's earnings from last night sometime that evening. 

Life beckoned, with all its petty trials and mundane tasks.

But Taehyung was here.

Taehyung was still here—later that night, crawling into Jungkook's bed, and the next morning too.

They talked about it that night, wrapped up underneath Jungkook's duvet—how Taehyung could come back with Jungkook over the holidays to his home town, if he wanted to; how much they wanted to go camping together when the weather got warm again.

In those moments when they looked at each other and everything seemed to fall away into perfect stillness, they knew each other perfectly and entirely; but in the mundane life they were bound to, Jungkook couldn't so easily shed his doubts.

Still...

Taehyung was still here.

And that was a wonderful new beginning.

**_FIN_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much to the organizer of this fest and the writers for creating more trans stories ♡ It was so fun to participate.


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